Published on Saturday, 04 May 2013 00:00
If you are having a hard time deciding on which degree course to take, let us help you with these 5 suggestions. Now you can take a degree course that not every Tom, Dick, and Harry in Singapore has.
1. Zombie 101
What better way to prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse than to take a class on these reanimated corpses at the University of Baltimore? While you don’t actually get to experiment on cadavers to see if you could bring them back to live and then invent a cure, you do receive quality zombie knowledge from Professor Arnold Blumberg. Blumberg is a zombie enthusiast and co-author of the book ‘Zombiemania’, his zombie module falls under the English degree curriculum and explores zombies, blood, and guts.
“We're going to be dealing with some of the truly disgusting stuff that's been done in horror over the years,” said Blumberg.
“I want to reinforce the degree to which this material can be found offensive by a lot of people.”
"This is not fluffy bunny cartoon stuff. Bunnies might show up, but they'd probably be torn to pieces."
Sounds like my type of person and my type of class to die for.
2. Clown College
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College is located in Sarasota, Florida. It was opened by the owner of Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus. Not just any clown will be able to get in; the school will first require extensive information about you. I am guessing that school officials will not only review your personality and portfolio, but also if you are red-nosed and big-footed enough to make a professional clown. They might probably check for other things too like if you are going to turn to the dark side and become something like Pennywise the Dancing Clown from ‘It’.
3. Exorcism 101
Regina Apostolorum Pontifical University, backed by the Vatican, was the first educational institution to introduce a course on exorcism. The university is based in Rome and the class teaches you a myriad of lessons on exorcism like the social dimensions of Satanism, with speakers that include a cardinal, archbishops, bishops, and priests. After the completion of this course, you could make a career out of being a freelance demonology minister that makes house calls, like John Constantine from ‘Constantine’, maybe you will even meet Lucifer himself and you can flip him the middle finger as you ascend to heaven.
4. EcoGastronomy Degree
Apparently the University of New Hampshire describes the EcoGastronomy program to be “for people who want to make the most of their time with family and friends and learn how to maximize the impact of their consumer dollar for social, political and environmental change.” If you’re confused, rest assure that you’re not the only one. All we can guess from this is that this degree will turn you into one of those obnoxious people who stick up their noses in disdain and passionately announce that they only eat organic even though no one gives a damn.
5. Paranormal Studies
Flamel College offers certifications that deal with paranormal activities like a paranormal investigator, parapsychologist, UFOlogist, cryptozoologist and certified EVP technician where you get to set up a machine that records groans, moans, and whisperings from the dead. You get to learn how to decipher the incoherent noises recorded into words. Specific certifications earn you a piece of paper and photo ID upon completion of the course so that you can show it as proof to Ms. Pontaniak, E.T. or any other aliens and spirits that you are indeed authorized in dealing with them.