Published on Wednesday, 15 May 2013 00:00
Quit whining about how bad you have it at work and how your boss constantly gives you hell. Learn to appreciate what you have because at least you don’t have these shitty jobs from over a history of 2,000 years.
1. Banquet Attendant, Rome, c. 50
This job has a misleading job title. People who applied to this last time would probably have the misconception that all they are required to do is to be a waiter, and when they were hired they found out to their horror that they were responsible for cleaning up guests’ vomit, and holding chamber pots into which partygoers urinate or take a shit in.
2. Viking Egg Collector, Scotland, c. 900
This person’s job was to scale down scraggly rock-cliffs to steal eggs from various seabirds for food while precariously hanging from a safety rope made from stinging nettles. The flimsy rope might give way any time and in the process of plummeting to his death, the jagged cliff would rip his body into pieces before he hits the ground. I’m pretty sure that back then, the Vikings did not have insurance.
3. Wool Fuller, Flanders, c. 1100
This job entails you to stamp out grease and impurities of sheep fleece in a barrel of stale urine all day to produce softer wool cloth. Expect the feet of a wool fuller’s to smell permanently of piss.
4. Food Taster, Agra, c. 1520
A food connoisseur of sorts, except that the person working in this industry eats samples of the emperor’s food to test for poison and not for taste. Expect to be hacked to death if the emperor consumes any tainted food, but you’ll die anyway if you were to consume the poisoned food for their emperor. However on a plus side, food tasters will be able to eat food that they will never be able to afford in their entire lives. Yolo, right?
5. Punkah Wallah, India, c. 1880
A punkah wallah is a manual fan operator who sits all day just continuously pulling on a rope to work an early type of ceiling fan that uses a pulley system. Looking for job fulfilment and satisfaction? This one has none.
6. Resurrection Man, Edinburgh, c. 1827
I’m fairly certain that people still do this now. The resurrection man is an illegal profession, he is a grave robber, but instead of just stealing jewellery from buried bodies, he steals the whole damn corpse to sell them as cadavers to medical students.
7. Leech Gatherer, France, c. 1835
Unlike most of the jobs listed here, the job requirement of a leech gatherer is really easy to guess at. A leech gatherer collects leeches by walking into a pond or a lake to allow leeches to attach to his legs, he then has to carefully remove them and place them into a basket, the leeches are then used for medical purposes.
8. World of Warcraft Gold Farmer, China, 2007 – Present
Seriously, the Chinese is really taking over the world. They’re even in World of Warcraft, a virtual game, working as labourers. They work 12-hour shifts amassing virtual gold in the game to be sold to other players, and mostly earn 30 cents an hour.
9. Factory Worker, China, 2010 – Present
Almost everything is made in China for their cheap labour costs. Factory workers work an average of 300 hours a month and earn around 76 cents an hour, which results in an approximate monthly income of $228. On top of that, they have to spend 30% of their income to pay the factory for their room and board.
10. Subway Pusher, Tokyo, 2010 – Present
I wonder how the Japanese do this without having to apologize and bow a million times. Subway pushers physically push rush-hour commuters into packed trains. How is it that Singapore has yet to implement this?