Published on Sunday, 23 June 2013 00:00
Procrastination is the act of replacing more urgent actions with less urgent tasks. It is an art that can be perfected through a rigorous lack of concentration and flippant disregard. The ones that have succeeded are masters of the art form and constantly display stupendous procrastination powers.
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
There is nothing as beautiful as procrastination. Professional Procrastinators are capable of performing incredible feats of procrastination. When there is something of utmost importance to be done, procrastinators will be able to find even the most frivolous of tasks to precede the significance of the former. They will push the urgent matter to the last minute where they will start to panic and pull out everything they can to complete it on time, this is when all their creative juices comes out to produce one of their best works.
To illustrate an example, imagine that a Procrastination Master has been assigned to write a report that would rake in $50 Milllion for his company and he is supposed to complete that in 2 weeks. His procrastinating gears are immediately set into motion and he does everything that he won’t do in normal circumstances from mopping the floor, rearranging his desk, buying groceries, doing arts-and-craft to reading an article on neurology other than what he is intended to do. It is only when there are a few dates left to the deadline where the report has to be turned in that he starts doing it at record speed. Churning out at record speed a report that he puts his heart and soul into that turns out spectacular.
Anal-retentive, “super on” or “siao on” people might think of procrastinators as lazy bums with a lack of motivation and no sense of prioritisation. Au contraire, to procrastinate on a serious matter, one must actually be extremely sure of oneself to the point of arrogance, assertive and incredibly intelligent. As opposed to non-procrastinators who are anxious that they will not meet the deadline because they are afraid of failing, they are not confident in the quality of work they are able to produce and are a nervous wreck most of the time.
It is a difficult thing to perfect; procrastination. It is easy to lie to other people of your motives because they can’t read your thoughts. But when your brain knows what you are up to, it is harder to delude and lie to your brain into thinking that a series of less important tasks weigh more heavily than the urgent one.
I raise a toast to all you accomplished procrastinators, the ones who put the “Pro” in Procrastination. Keep fighting the good fight. Just remember that at the end of procrastination to put all of yourself into the task you have been procrastinating on and kick some ass.