Category: Life Skills
Published on Friday, 24 January 2014 00:00
It is said that the best relationship to have is one where you and your significant other behave both like lovers and bestfriends. As corny as it sounds, friendship is really an important keystone to a happily ever after. If your man can make you laugh, cheer you up when you are having a bad day, and talk to you for hours on end, he could be a keeper. This is for all your girls out there whether you are already in a relationship or still looking for your prince charming.
Long gone are the days in kindergarten when you can casually just ask someone to be your bestfriend and not worry about rejection or any awkwardness. From your teenage days onward all the way till you gray with age, you will just have to guess that the person you treat as your bestfriend feels the same way about you too, because simply asking someone to be your bestfriend now can come off as a little bit childish and kind of creepy (I know, I have tried asking my boyfriend and he has refused to acknowledge my weird question despite constant hounding).
It is important that you can find a bestfriend in your boyfriend just so even after the honeymoon period has waned, you can still be certain you have something solid to fall back on. So how can you tell if your boyfriend is also your bestfriend?
1. He invites you along every time he meets his friends.
You can be sure that you mean a lot to him when his friends call him for a night out and he never fails to invite you along. Him doing so shows that not only does he think of you as one of his good friends too, he is comfortable with hanging out together with you and his friends. There is nothing he can't tell his friends that he can't tell you. He knows you are his girlfriend, but in these circumstances, it will feel like just a whole group of good friends getting together and making merry. Just try not to gross his friends out with too much public displays of affection.
2. The both of you put your heads together to gossip.
Like how little kids do whenever they want to talk about someone else but don't want anyone to hear them, they put their heads together and whisper about it. It is a cheeky and mischievous aspect that only comes about from a close friendship. If you and your boyfriend have that intrinsic kid-like tendency to move closer and whisper and giggle maniacally to each other about something or someone, it is clear that the both of you have your fun friendship moments.
3. He rages to you.
Like all healthy friendships, from time to time, someone requires just a listening ear. If he thinks of you as his bestfriend, he trusts you to be there for him even when there is nothing you can do about the problems he has. He needs to let some steam off and rant about the horrible things he has experienced, and you as both his friend and his girlfriend should let him pour his feelings out.
4. He calls you up when something happens.
If you are his bestfriend and vice versa, he feels that he can talk to you about anything and everything under the sun, the moon and the stars, and you are the first person he wants to talk to when something happens. It could be nothing to do with you but he just wants to let you know about what he has seen or heard especially when you are not with him. It could be something as minor as he saw a brand new supercar racing down the street when he was going for lunch, or it could be something major like him getting a raise and a promotion.
5. He calls you up when nothing happens.
Even when he has nothing to share, he values your company so much that he feels the need to call you up whenever he is free just to chit chat. Bestfriends don't need a reason or an interesting event to happen to talk to one another, because the words just come tumbling out like waves on a shore.
6. He breaks the bro code for you.
When one of his bros confide in him and specifically tell him he is not allowed to tell anyone else but he tells you anyway simply because he just wants you to know what he knows. He is not giving away his friends' secrets just because you are his girlfriend, but he does so because he puts the utmost trust in you that you will never repeat it again to any of his friends and he would like to discuss it with you because you rank the highest among the rest of his friends.
7. He constantly asks you for suggestions.
Whenever he is going to make a decision no matter how small, if he turns to you and asks you for your opinion about it, it means that he truly wants to know what you think. He will then contemplate and weigh the options with your opinion in mind before finally concluding on something. It could just be about whether he should buy the black shirt or the blue shirt, but for him to ask you shows that you play a big part in his decision making.
8. Every one thinks of the two of you as a single entity.
Bestfriends are always joined at the hip. You will hardly see one without the other not far behind. It is the same for lovers who are also bestfriends. People refer to them like they are just one person, not two. And whenever someone invites one for a party or a night out, everyone will automatically expect the other to appear as well.
9. The both of you engage in debates.
Not to be confused with quarrels and arguments. Even though the two of you might be very similar in a lot of ways, when it comes down to it, you are both unique individuals, and that is the beauty of it. A friendly little debate over certain topics of opposing viewpoints can be fun and eye-opening. It is important to know that he respects and values your stance on certain things even though it differs from his. The ability to accept your differences and not forcing you to conform to his ways portrays how he has accepted you as a friend for life.
10. The both of you meet as often as you can.
We live in a highly stressful, fast-paced environment where we don't really have much time for ourselves let alone anyone else. If the both of you meet very often on a regular basis just because you really want to, not because it is a BGR obligation, you can be sure that you mean so much more to him than just a typical girlfriend. Good friends find time for us on the calendar, but bestfriends don't consult the calendar, they meet you as often as they can even when they are dead tired from a long day at work or school.
Many people argue that it is not healthy to have your boyfriend as your bestfriend. I agree that it is indeed not the best idea for your entire world to revolve around your boyfriend and just completely neglect your other friends, but that doesn't mean that your boyfriend can't be your closest confident. It is highly possible for you to have your cake and eat it too, because at the end of the day, your boyfriend could be whom you return home to in the future and your life would be so much more blissful if you have your great friends around along with your boyfriend-cum-bestfriend to inject all the love, silliness, banter, and great conversations that makes everything worth toiling for.