Brood II Cicada Invasion

Brood II Cicada Invasion
 
Big, loud and obnoxious. No, we’re not talking about that douchebag friend of yours that you still keep around for unfathomable reasons, yeah we all have that one friend. We’re talking about cicadas. Make that a whole swarm of them in the millions and the millions.
 
“Else, if thou wilt not let my people go, behold, I will send swarms of flies upon thee, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people, and into thy houses: and the houses of the Egyptians shall be full of swarms of flies, and also the ground whereon they are.” – Exodus 8:21
 
Brood II Cicada Invasion
 
Brood II is the name given for one of the 15 separate broods of Magicicada that appear regularly throughout the north-eastern United States. Every 17 years, they emerge from their subterranean dens in the ground en masse to terrorize the good people of America. This year is the year that they will be here. Be prepared.
 
cicada3
 
Brood II cicadas measure 4cm (1.5 in) long and are more of an annoyance than harm, they do not sting or bite. In fact, they are quite useless. Upon their emergence, they spend their short two-week lives scuttering up trees, shedding their crunchy skins and reproducing. Many unfortunate ones would probably die prematurely from being squished by shoes, vehicles and such. They can number up to a million per hectare (2.5 acres). 
 
Brood II Cicada Invasion
 
The soil in eastern America is reaching prime warmth for cicada-birthing, and the noisy black-bodied, crimson-eyed bugs have already started emerging in different states.
 
It’s not the zombie apocalypse but it’s going to sound like it,” a TV journalist likened the sound of a cicada invasion to that of a zombie apocalypse. This TV journalist may very well be one of the first to be eaten by a zombie when the zombie apocalypse comes around because she can’t tell the difference between the shrilling chirps of cicadas and the low, guttural groans of zombies (they go “RAAAAAAAAAAAAWRRGGHHHHHHH” for the record).
 
Brood II Cicada Invasion
 
We highly recommend anyone living in the affected areas to invest in a Bug-A-Salt. Instead of constantly swatting the horde of cicadas away and/or fleeing in horror, you and your friends can gear up and have the time of your lives just launching salt bullets at cicadas and seeing them drop in mid-flight. Lock and load boys! They’ll be arriving soon.
 

Enjoyed the article? Share it with others.

Login

Joomla! Open Graph tags