When Hairy Met Sappy: Stockings & A Love Story
Published on Monday, 24 June 2013 00:00
Girls who constantly find themselves in hairy situations with perverts can now ward off unwanted attention with these revolutionary stockings!
A pair of hairy stockings has been making waves on the internet after a person going by the username of Happy张江 uploaded a photo of stockings designed to resemble a hairy man’s legs on Sina Weibo (the China equivalent of Twitter). Whether the long curly strands of hair on the stockings is synthetic or real, I have no idea. I hope it is synthetic though.
The photo is captioned, “Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out.”
Yes ladies! In an attempt to fend off rapists and molesters with faux leg hair, you can look fashionably chic at the same time! Unfortunately, I am unsure if these pair of très chic, anti-pervert stockings is up for sale or is just a one-off piece.
These pair of hairy stockings might have a few drawbacks though. I bet the creator did not think about men who actually have a fetish for hairy legs. I know of such a person. He is one of my good friends in fact. To protect his identity less he receives death threats, he will only be known as Lee.
“Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee. We're talkin' f**kin’ Lee! I had a friend named Lee, he cast a spell a spell on me.” – Tenacious D
Lee has always had a thing for girls whose legs are covered with thick fuzz. He has never gotten over a childhood crush he developed on a fat, ogre-like girl in secondary school whom our close-knitted group of friends refer to as “Hairy Legs” or H.L. for short. He would blush whenever she waddled past our class with those luscious hairy legs of hers. Lee never built up the courage to ask her out and when the days in secondary school drew to an end, he never got to see H.L. ever again. And he lived happily never after. The end.