Category: Health & Fitness
Published on Wednesday, 10 September 2014 00:00
It is appalling that the average person knows almost next to nothing about the human body, especially since you have been living inside one for your whole life. It also does not help that there are so many bullshit myths still circulating around about your health, organs, diet, sex and etc that people just assume to be scientifically proven. If we could list all the myths down, this article would go on forever, so let us just address the six big ones.
1. Sitting Too Close To The TV Damages Eyesight
Remember as a child you can't wait to come home from school and plonk yourself down right in front of the TV with a packet of chips? Then your anal parents have to be a party pooper and nag at you to sit further away from the TV because being too close to it will ruin your eyesight. That is not true. If you sat too close to the TV as a child, the chances are that you already had bad eyesight to begin with, and that was the only comfortable way for you to properly catch your favorite cartoons. People assume that sitting too close to the TV will “spoil your eyes” because these kids grow up needing spectacles, when in actual fact, their eyesight was already shitty to start off.
Studies have shown
that there is no related evidence between the distance you watch TV to frying your eyes out. Others who still stubbornly believe this old wives' tale might argue that it does because staring at a television or computer screen can make your eyes hurt, feel strained or dry. But this does not have to do with the screen emitting toxic levels of radiation to dissolve your eyeballs. Your eyes hurt because focusing too hard and too long in a fixed position means you blink less often, and your eyes get tired. Try stopping whatever you are doing now and then and closing your eyes for a few seconds, then you can return to pressing your nose up against your computer screen and scrutinizing a certain set of leaked nude photos to your heart's content.
2. Tongue Rolling Is Hereditary
Back in primary school, our science teachers would try to come up with fun and “hands-on” activities in an attempt to explain to us whatever scientific things we children are too dumb to grasp. So when they try to explain the concept of genetics, they will pull out tongue rolling. BUT YOUR SCIENCE TEACHERS ARE WRONG! YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE! They say that if you have the ability to roll the sides of your tongue up into a tube shape, it means one (or both) of your parents also has the most useless superpower ever and passed it on to you.
So we all thought that it is true but the fact is that tongue rolling isn't a genetic trait passed down from your parents. It is something you learn. Studies showed
that the percentage of kids who can roll their tongues goes from 54% in the 6 – 7 year old range to 76% for the age of 12. If you never got the hang of it, your tongue is basically just lying like a dead fish in your mouth most of the time, and you are probably completely retarded at making out. Tongue rolling is not hereditary, it is just a trick kids pick up in their spare time, like twirling a pen.
3. Hair And Nails Continue To Grow After Death
If you are lucky enough to find a cemetery to be buried in on our tiny island where they unceremoniously keep digging dead people up to build houses, then good for you, because there is still life in death and your hair and fingernails will continue to grow for a certain period of time, right? WRONG! First of all, it is almost impossible to arrange for a burial in Singapore now unless you are a very, very prominent white-haired figure who is loved by the local media. And secondly, your hair and nails do not keep growing. Just like everything else in your body, hair and nails require a constant supply of nutrients, oxygen and blood to thrive, three things which are not available in a corpse incarcerated in an air-tight coffin.
The macabre myth originated as far back as World War I, where a sentence in the novel “All Quiest on the Western Front” states, “It strikes me that these nails will continue to grow like lean fantastic cellar-plants long after Kemmerich breathes no more.” Kemmerich's nails did not continue growing though. Like everyone else's, they fell off his body in due time along with his flesh.
4. Sex Harms Athletic Performance
In the sports world, this myth is constantly being practiced all the time. Athletes refrain from having sex before a big game or a marathon for fear that it would diminish their athletic performance. This is thought to only apply for men, as having sex would decrease their testosterone after the “shoot-out”. This is not how it works. The myth was proven false as early as 1995 when Yale conducted a research
on eleven men, testing their output when abstaining and when having sex, and no chance in performance was detected. In fact, another study performed on marathon runners in London suggested that having sex improved their performance. The only way sex can affect an athlete's performance is if he stayed up all night doing it before the game. Then he only has himself to blame; either choose a crazy wild orgy or winning that trophy.
5. Flat Feet Are A Body Defect and Are Prone To injuries
You might have been dropped a PES during your health and medical check up for National Service because you have flat feet. Even during World War II, thousands of potential soldiers were turned away because they had the condition, and people considered flat feet to be prone to injuries. It is rationalized that when you are walking through rough terrain, you need the spring in your step that comes from natural, healthy feet arches, instead of slapping your flipper-like feet on the ground.
What many people even Medical Officers don't know is that flat feet are less prone to injuries than normal arched feet. Those with arched feet suffered double the injuries, like strains and stress fractures according to a study in Fort Benning in 1989
where a sample of over 300 soldiers were observed. Hey you, with the flat feet, stop trying to keng NS now that you know flat feet is not a medical condition. Be a man, do the right thing.
6. Healthy Teeth Should Be Pearly White
Almost every toothpaste in the market out there promises you gleaming white teeth, because who wants piss-yellow teeth like a Neanderthal's? Society views yellow teeth as a sign of bad hygiene and no one wants to make out with a person with yellow teeth. Well, society can go f**k itself. To compare our teeth with a Neanderthal's is completely out of context, because their teeth has been ground down to a flat stump from eating all that tough, raw meat. And white teeth is actually the dental equivalent of silicone-enhanced boobies. Now we all know how much society frowns upon fake breasts. Society is such a hypocritical little prick.
The natural color of human teeth is off-white
, in other words, slight yellow. Your desperate attempts to turn them bleach white is actually damaging. Toothbrushes with bristles that are too stiff are abrasive and weaken teeth by stripping off the outer layers. Furthermore, teeth “whitening” products are mostly bullshit. If you can manage to fork out a few grand to get your teeth professionally whitened by a dentist, what the dentist will fail to tell you is that they will bleach the protective layer of enamel, which also damages them.