Published on Tuesday, 03 September 2013 00:00
You can find all sorts of items being sold on Etsy.com that are typically hand-made with love by talented, creative individuals. But what happens when Etsy meets the mentally disturbed? NSFW, you know that if you see this label it means some seriously f-ed up shit. Click on the name of the item to be directed to its Etsy's page.
Erm... Hmmm. This is some sort of sculpture the artist named Richanda. There is no prettier way to put this; it is basically a boob + penis + teeth + human hair hybrid. The artist who sculpted this... thing also has many other disturbingly grotesque, horribly deformed, disembodied, mutant parts up for sale that he calls Fleshlettes. I got to hand it to the artist though, whoever he is, he has managed to do a bang up job at making them look hyper-realistic.
Have you ever gone “I wish I have an unborn beaver”? Well now you can! This is actually a real beaver embryo that has been preserved. The owner claims that all her specimens that she’s selling are obtained legally and from animals who perished from natural causes or were roadkills.
“Lovely super secret snake shed LOT :)” it is described, whatever the hell that means. Because incoherency sells! If you purchase this pile of snake skin, they will throw in a mummified turtle that has been ripped apart completely free of charge! Oh man oh man, this is the deal of a lifetime!
WHAT IS IT with these disturbed Etsy shop owners and their morbid obsession for dead animals? These bag of pig foetuses are packed at random and come in slightly varying sizes. “YOU WILL GET PIGS PICKED AT RANDOM THIS SIZE ORDER MAY TAKE 10 DAYS TO PROCESS BUT I CAN USUALLY HAVE READY IN 1 DAY”. At least the seller is efficient.
The owner is selling this as an art piece. WTF, seriously.
Having trouble explaining to your kids where babies come from? This cat plush will solve your problem and you can show your kids how babies are made in a PG graphic kind of way. Oh, and it also vibrates when you squeeze it.
I don’t know whether to laugh or to be entirely grossed out. The owner seems very proud with this hideous piece, apparently this has been one of his most prized personal possessions.
“What can be said about this piece that can't be said within the photos? I personally think it's one of my favorite acquisitions over the past year but I'm willing to part with it for a price. The mummification has been extremely well-done and there is no detectable moisture or odors. I love the wide open jaws and bright teeth, they really look fierce especially with the large glass human eyes. I always wonder if this was the actual look on the fox's face when he was struck by a car. Oh that's how he died by the way. Stupid car.”
For that exorbitant price, you can get a realistic human sex doll custom made just for you! But I suppose that different people have different sexual preferences. Some like humans while others like banana ladies. Hey, to each his own right?
“According to southern custom, if a man wants to win a woman's heart, he should boil a raccoon penis bone, tie it to a string, and give it to his sweetheart as a necklace.”
So what are you waiting for? Nothing says “I love you” more than presenting your partner with a racoon’s penis bone.
Comes complete with red LED eyes and fake blood! The mice are real though. Little zombie rat even has a tiny bloodstained shirt. Because “why not?!”
You may now proceed to puke your internal organs out.