What NOT To Do On Halloween

halloween
 
Halloween is just around the corner. If you are the type that sees Halloween as the “Devil's Holiday” instead of just unadulterated, candy-extorting, alcohol-abusing, an-excuse-for-partying fun, click away now. For the rest who enjoys dressing up for Halloween along with the rest of the world and making merry, here is a list you may choose to abide by for what NOT to do on All Hallows' Eve, or you may choose to do it... whatever... I'm not the boss of you.
 
1. DO NOT Get Entirely Into Character
 
Freddy Krueger
 
So you got your scary costume ready for Halloween and it's going to look horrifyingly impressive. Whether you are going to be dressed up as Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare On Elm Street, Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th, the psychotic masked serial killer from Scream, or a random rotting zombie, you will definitely have fun jumping out and scaring the shit out of strangers. Well, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. If the person you are attempting to scare does not start shrieking at the top of his/her lungs and just stonily stares back at you, do not try to kick things up a notch by really getting into the character you are dressed in. DO NOT actually start trying to eat the person''s face off or slash him/her with whatever razor sharp claws, electric saws, knives, or machetes you have. Just walk the humiliation off and try to scare someone else.
 
2. DO NOT Assume That It's Yours For The Taking
 
halloween sluts
 
Halloween has progressed from donning traditional scary costumes of monsters and ghouls to dressing up as anyone other than yourself. On the night of Halloween, you will see many girls strutting around scantily clad as sexy bunnies, french maids, super-heroines, policewomen, nurses, vampires and such.
 
“In girl-world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” - Mean Girls, 2004
 
mean girls regina george halloween
 
Now guys, while Halloween is all about receiving candy, these tempting eye-candies are NOT yours for the taking. They are only there to be observed, admired and desired. Just because they are dressed provocatively does not mean it's a free-for-all sex buffet. Treat Halloween like an international SlutWalk. Be respectful towards the ladies, don't grope or do the accidental-grope thing.
 
3. DO NOT Dress Children Up Like Sluts
 
halloween4
 
Children are so innocent and cute and we should just leave them at that.
 
4. DO NOT Give Out Healthy Treats
 
trick or treat kids
 
Don't be a mean bastard and ruin Halloween for everyone by handing out healthy treats to trick-or-treaters just because you are one of them sad people who “eats healthy” and your diet consists of nothing except vegetables, fruits and grass or something like that. NO ONE wants your damn raisins or granola bars. Just get some ACTUAL candy.
 
5. DO NOT Put Gross Food Items On The Menu
 
halloween eyeballs edible food
 
To get into the theme of Halloween, many people offer snacks like lychees which they disguise to look like eyeballs, or cold pasta masquerading as earthworms. That is all fine and dandy but DO NOT actually put food items like pig's eyeballs and live earthworms on the menu.
 
2 words of advice: Have Fun!
 
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