Naughty Nature

penis tree
We all love listening to dirty jokes, unless you are a nun, or a sad, miserable and humourless SOB. The people who do not get it, just will not be able to get it until someone explains it to them in detail, by then these people would have ruined the joke for everyone else. You do not even need to have had sex before to get it; simply do not be so dumb.

 

So like everyone else, aside from the dumb ones, Mother Nature herself tends to get a little frisky from time to time with her creations.

 

NSFW, because your supervisor might walk pass your desk and wonder why on earth you are looking at genital-like stuff.

 

Abalone

 

abalone

 

In case you have lived under a rock for a few decades, this is an Abalone, a type of sea snail. It is a popular delicacy in Singapore mostly among the Chinese, even though it does not taste like anything and has a rubbery texture. It feels like eating wet rubber. What you are seeing here is the underside of an abalone. Big abalones are usually sliced up for consumption and they do not look too disgusting. The small abalones however, are usually served whole. Maybe this is where eating a girl out is inspired from.

 

Penis-shaped Passion Fruit

 

penis-passion-fruit

 

A Brazilian gardener, Maria Rodrigues de Aguiar Farias, 53, rose to fame when the passion fruit vine in her backyard started producing pods that grew in the shape of a penis and a scrotum. After her handphone got stolen by one of the fruit’s visitors, Maria started to charge R$2 (S$0.62.) for visitors, R$15 (S$9.37) to take photos, and R$20 (S$12.49) to film videos.
The Brazilian Agricultural Research Agency (EMBRAPA) dispatched a team of scientists to uncover the reason the fruit, which is usually round, grew in the shape of male genital organs.
Marcelo Cavallari who is with the EMBRAPA was quoted saying, “It's pretty big, it's pretty thick, it may even reach 15 to 20 cm in length.”
Anyone feeling a wee bit inferior about his size now?

 

Penis Fish

 

penis fish

 

The penis fish is not a fish. It is in fact a species of marine spoon worm. It resembles a penis right down to how it is able to enlarge its tube-like body, the only detail lacking is the ball sack. In Korea and Japan, it is believed that the consumption of penis fish will improve penis vitality, just because it looks like a penis.

 

Geoduck

 

geoduck

 

The Geoduck is an edible saltwater clam that resembles a penis complete with excess skin on its phallic-like tube. The most interesting aspect of this clam is that when it extends its tube (which can be stretched 10 times longer than its shell size) out of the water, there is a small hole at the tip of its tube which will ejaculate water into the air. I first saw a Geoduck in a Chinese restaurant where it was in a tank, slowly extending its wrinkly tube straight up into the air and squirting water out. At that moment, I knew instantly that the image will stay with me for life.

 

Penis Snake

 

penis snake

 

Urgh! I am used to creatures of the sea looking all weird and disgusting, but this thing was discovered on land in Brazil. It is not a disembodied penis, neither is it a snake. It is actually a caecilian, a land-dwelling vertebrate without any lungs.
Is that a snake in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

 

Mother Nature may have created some really terrifying monsters, but at least she has a sense of humour when it comes to the subject we all enjoy.

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