Category: Weird Articles
Published on Monday, 05 August 2013 00:00
Dave Playpenz (seriously that’s his name?) had to get his finger amputated after an accident and seized the opportunity to conduct his own little cannibalistic taste test.
With a surname like Playpenz, you would think that he got bullied a lot when he was a kid and grew up with psychological scars. Crazy is, as crazy does. Surgeons informed Playpenz that they had to amputate one of his fingers and part of his hand after it turned black following a motorcycle accident. However, instead of throwing the blackened finger away, Playpenz requested to take it home.
“It had been kept in the same fridge where the nurses stored the milk for their tea,” the 30-something year old Englishman from Essex said.
Playpenz admitted that he has always been fascinated and curious about cannibalism, and said that it struck him then that he could eat his finger and keep the bones. So he brought it home.
“I’d always wondered what human flesh tastes like. But it’s taboo,” the bondage furniture maker remarked. “People can’t go around being cannibals – that’s illegal. Only then, it occurred to me that no one could haul me to court for eating my own flesh.”
Well... Waste not, want not.
“I decided to cook it and taste it. Then my curiosity would be satisfied,” Playpenz said.
“I know it sounds mad, but it wasn’t just the curiosity.” He tried rationalizing that there was another reason than the disturbing fascination for tasting human flesh. “That finger was a big bit of me, too big a bit to lose. I decided that, if I ate the flesh and kept the bones, then I wouldn’t be losing part of me.”
Playpenz waited at least two days to recover from his operation before going through the act of eating himself.
He apparently boiled the finger in salt water instead of sautéing it or other stuff “because I wanted to keep the bones, I decided not to fry or roast the finger, as that would damage them.”
“I didn’t have sauce or drink wine with it as I wanted to know what the real taste was.”
Ever since he ate a part of himself, *shudders* he has been keeping the bones in a box. He also insisted that the majority of his friends did not mind his one-time, self-cannibalism experience, with only one couple commenting that “it’s disgusting”. He said that people were mostly intrigued. And more shockingly, a vegan friend approved of it because “at least I had my own permission whereas animals don’t give their consent before they’re eaten.”
“And no, it hasn’t turned me into some kind of Hannibal Lecter. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, which I definitely won’t be repeating.”
What he has failed to mention though, is his opinion on how his flesh tasted like and whether he drank the soup or not. I guess it is too late to introduce the method of cooking bak kut teh (meat bone tea) to him.