Führer Facts: Hitler Exposed

Führer Facts: Hitler Exposed
Adolf Hitler is known worldwide as one of the most tyrannical dictators in all of history. If you paid attention in history class, you will be extremely familiar with many of his crazy-ass, evil exploits. What they do not teach in the textbooks and classrooms however, is the frivolous yet mind-blowing little details of Hitler’s life.
1. Adolf Schicklgruber
Hitler's Father Adois Hitler
Adolf Schicklgruber would have been Hitler’s name if his father, Alois Hitler, did not have his surname changed in 1877. Schicklgruber does not really have the same ring as Hitler does it? In fact, it looks like something you get from smashing on your keyboard. Good call Daddy Hitler!
2. First Love = Holocaust?
Führer Facts: Hitler Exposed
Hitler’s first love was a Jewish girl. He never uttered a single word to her out of fear. Perhaps unrequited love could be the answer to the mystery of why he went around massacring Jews during WWII. Or maybe the holocaust was just his twisted idea of romance. If it is the latter, I blame Shakespeare.
3. Concentration Camps
Nazi concentration camps
Hitler never once visited any of his notorious Nazi concentration camps.
4. Pioneer of Anti-Smoking Campaigns
Hitler's anti smoking campaign
Hitler led the first public anti-smoking campaign in modern history.  So whenever you come across anti-smoking campaigns nowadays, just remember that Hitler was practically the founding father of all “Say No to Tobacco” or “Break the Stick” kind of campaigns.
5. Ball-sy & Nuts
Balls of steel
Hitler is famously known to take many risks. He was as ball-sy as he was evil. He was daring as he was nuts. But you can’t say that the nut-job had balls of steel, because he only had one testicle.
6. Hitler’s Role Model
Henry Ford
Hitler had a framed portrait of Henry Ford behind his desk, and he regarded him as an “inspiration”. I don’t know how exactly Henry Ford’s accomplishments and Hitler’s goals were relevant... the former was the first ever car salesman and the latter was a lean-mean-jew-killing machine bent on taking over the world. Genghis Khan or Ivan the Terrible would have been much better choices as Hitler’s “inspiration”.
7. Animal Lover
Hitler animal lover
Hitler was a vegetarian and he created laws against animal cruelty.
8. Rescued Twice
Hitler smiling
Hitler cheated death two times. He almost drowned when he was 4 years old, but a priest pulled him out just in time before he could sink to his watery grave. The second time was during World War 1 where a British soldier spared his life.
9. Victim of an unfortunate condition
Hitler farting
Hitler suffered from Chronic Flatulence, otherwise known as INFINITE FARTING!  Take that Mr. Gassy pants! Karma bit him in the ass even before he knew it. He had to take 28 different drugs to fight the condition.
10. Mr. Artsy Fartsy
Hitler's paintings
Hitler once aspired to be an artist. He painted scenic, picturesque artworks of mainly architecture. He was so passionate about painting that when he served in World War 1 as an insignificant soldier, he brought along his paints and spent his free time painting. Even then in the midst of all the mayhem and horrors of war, he still stuck to painting serene pictures of buildings, like farmers’ houses. His dreams were dashed after he was rejected twice by the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna. There is a very high possibility that if the institution had given Hitler a chance, WWII could have been avoided.

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