Category: Weird Articles
Published on Thursday, 12 September 2013 00:00
If you are a woman who would do anything to impress a misogynist including putting aside all your pride and dignity, these charming dating tips from Parade Magazine published in 1938 might help you score your dream sexist man.
1. Don’t Sit in Awkward Positions
It is extremely unsexy of a lady to be slouched over, you should always sit demurely but provocatively. Make the man WANT you, make him see you as a sex object. And also, give him the utmost attention even if he might be talking about how much of a bitch his mother is because she refused to massage his feet.
2. Dress & Wait
Never dress in front of your date even if it is just putting on your earrings or shoes. Most importantly, you should never expect him to wait for you. YOU have to take the initiative to be ready first and then YOU have to wait for him. Once he arrives, it is just touch and go.
3. Makeup in Private
Shame on you if you should ever think of applying or touching up your makeup in front of him! That’s a big no no, missy! You should always strike the image that you were born with makeup on whenever he is around. Never use his things as well because you should use your own damn things!
4. Dance, Don’t Talk
Shut your trap and just dance because men don’t want to hear you yakking away when they are dancing. Talking while dancing is a huge turn off for men.
5. Show Some Decency
THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO IS TO HAVE A LITTLE WRINKLE ON YOUR STOCKINGS! IT’S THE ULTIMATE HORROR!
6. Car Mirror = No Makeup
Once again ladies, do not touch up your makeup in front of him and absolutely do not use his car mirror to do so. Cannot stress the makeup thing enough. It is of utmost importance.
7. See, No Touch
Any physical contact with your date is a huge dating faux pas! People might think of him as less than a man if you show any physical signs of affection. Only he should reserve the right to do that to you.
8. No Woman, No Cry
Men totally detest having to deal with or talk about your feelings. No talk of feelings should be involved.
9. No Interaction With Others
You shall not communicate with the headwaiter about other events that does not involve your date, even if the waiter might be your father. Praise to be the highest for your man for he should be the sole purpose of your living.
10. No Clothing Chitchat
It should not be about you, it should be ALL ABOUT HIM and how great and magnificent and smart he is. Nothing about you. None. Nada. Zilch.
11. Refrain From Alcohol
Because women are already stupid, they get even stupider and make complete fools out of themselves if they so much as take a sip of alcohol. He can drink all he wants because he can do no wrong.
12. All Eyes On Him
There is strictly no talking to other men because he should be the only one you worship.
The bottom line is to just be subservient and submissive towards your chauvinistic pig, try as hard as you can to be the sex object he wants you to be, do not speak out of turn or simply do not speak at all, answer his every beck and call, and allow him to do whatever he pleases with you.