Longest Fossilized Poop Up For Auction

longest poop
 
A gallery in Beverly Hills, California is expecting someone to buy their piece of crap, literally, for a whooping $10,000. The lumpy fossil is billed as possibly the longest known specimen of ancient excrement and is going up for auction this week at the I.M. Chait Gallery or on their website.
 
Measuring "an eye-watering 40 inches [102 centimeters] in length," the so-called coprolite (fancy word for ancient shit), could be almost 33 million years old, according to the auctioneers, who estimate that the fossilized specimen could fetch between $8,000 and $10,000. Now isn't that some shit?
 
"It boasts" - if a coprolite is capable of boasting anything "a wonderfully even, pale brown-yellow coloring and terrifically detailed texture to the heavily botryoidal surface across the whole of its immense length," the glowing description from the auction house, reads. (A "botryoidal" surface is simply one with a lumpy texture. Tellingly, the word comes from the Greek word "botrys," meaning a bunch of grapes. Like looking at the picture isn't visual enough.) 
 
It is not known who or what passed out this magnificent piece of poop. However according to Jake Chait, natural history director of I.M. Chait, the seller of the item was the one who personally found and dug it up back in 2012, on a private land in Toledo, Washington. Based on other fossils found in that area, auctioneers said that the dung likely dates back to the Miocene or Oligocene epochs.
 
"In the 12 years I've been selling natural history items, I've never seen anything close to this in terms of size," Chait proudly told Live Science.
 
The impressive load has been separated into four segments and mounted on black marble. "If you shipped in one piece it would for sure break," Chait said.
 
Though an unusual sale, this will not be the first time ancient feces has gone under the hammer. In 2008, Bonhams New York sold a 130-million-year old pile of dinosaur dung for approximately $1,000. Chait claims that he has sold much smaller coprolites for around $6,000.
 
"Oddly enough, I've sold quite a lot [of coprolites]," Chait said. "They have a tendency to bring a lot more money than I expect them to."
 
The natural history sale which also includes saber-toothed cat skeletons, a mammoth tusk and gemstones is scheduled to take place at the gallery on July 26 at 1 p.m. PDT (4 p.m. EDT). 
 
So if you have ever thought to yourself, “Gee I wish that someone would sell me a long-ass piece of shit so that I can put it in my bathroom for inspiration,” this is your opportunity to procure one! Or if you can't afford to pay that much, the next best thing to do is use the above picture as your facebook cover photo, just for your convenience, here's an enlarged photo of it in all its poopy glory.
 

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