Created on Thursday, 30 April 2015 00:00
Written by J
Singapore is a food paradise, with a huge myriad of different delicious cuisines to choose from. Ask people what their favorite food is and you would get a variety of answers, from roti prata to burgers. An answer you would not expect to hear however, is period blood. My favorite food is menstrual blood.
I am J, I work at a renowned PR firm, I am 29-years-old and I have a problem. I love consuming the blood off my pads and tampons. Every month I look forward to getting my period like how some Singaporeans look forward to stuffing themselves at international buffets in high-end restaurants. I have experimented with different ways to prepare my period blood for consumption; I have tried frying it with vegetables, boiling it with soup, and steaming it in dumplings. But still nothing beats eating it raw. I would lick it off fresh from a soaked sanitary pad, or if I used a tampon, I would chuck the tampon in the freezer and suck on it later like a popsicle.
I would feel like I've won the lottery everytime I pass out menstrual blood clots. For those of you who don't know what that is, it generally looks like a small clump of red meat that is extremely soft and jelly-like to the touch. I would carefully place these blood clots to chill in the fridge for awhile before eating them à la sashimi with some wasabi and soy sauce. The texture and richness of these blood clots is comparable to foie gras, and they taste like a mix of beef tartare and tuna belly sashimi. Sorry to say this, but just the thought of it makes my mouth water.
I understand how this might seem to others like the actions of a disturbed mind, or someone who had suffered pyschological trauma in the past, but I assure you, I had a wonderful childhood. Though my parents are Chinese, they never pressurized me into getting the best grades in class, they believed that work and play are both equally important, and they always encouraged me to pursue my dreams. They are the best parents anyone could ever ask for – loving, patient, supportive and fun. Even though I live by myself now in a studio apartment, I am still extremely close to my parents, and I pop by their house every other day to have dinner together. They have always been my best friends ever since I was born, and I tell them everything; from the unrealistic expectations my boss puts on me to the boys I am dating. I tell them everything... except for this weird addiction of consuming menstrual blood of course. This is the first time I've ever admitted to my problem.
So if it did not stem from a past traumatic experience, what could be fueling my desire to gobble down my menstrual blood every month? I did some research on it and found out that there are others out there too hiding in fear behind the internet who like me, love the taste of period blood, and don't know what to make of it. Doctors have suggested that perhaps it is due to a lack of iron in our system that make us crave blood. I tried taking iron pills to curb this socially unacceptable habit, but that did not work. Curious, I pricked a finger and tried sucking on it, but I realized that it was a world of difference. I just like menstrual blood, period (pun not intended).
This strange addiction started from the first day I ever got my period. I was a late bloomer, and only hit puberty when I was 14-years-old. I remember I woke up from an afternoon nap, went to the lavatory, pulled down my panties and saw a liquid blossom of red. I was elated that I finally got my period, and as I sat there staring at the red patch in gleeful silence, I caught a whiff of the blood. I pulled off my panties, held it closer to my nose and inhaled deeply. Oh man did it smell delicious. I imagine it smelled to me like how a sizzling steak on a hotplate would smell to a meat-lover. I gingerly touched the patch of blood with my fingertip and licked it. From then on, I was hooked, but I never told anyone about it, because I am completely aware of how weird and disgusting it is. But I can't help myself.
My deepest darkest secret of this whole affair was this one instance when I was 16 and a friend came over to study. She requested to use the bathroom to change her sanitary pad. When she came out, she held her used sanitary pad bunched up in newspapers and asked me where she should dispose of it, I took it from her and told her I would take care of it. Instead of throwing it away, I wrapped it up in plastic bags and shoved it in the fridge. When she went home, I took it out, ran to my room, and yes you guessed it, tasted her period blood. I don't know why I did it. Looking back now, it seems beyond gross. But the interesting thing about it is that it tasted very different from mine, it was different, but not unpleasant. Don't worry, after that time, I never ate anyone else's period blood again. There is always the risk of contracting STDs that scares me enough.
I went into Public Relations because I like dealing with people. I enjoy meeting new people, managing relations and generally making people happy. No one can ever know my real identity especially with the nature of the job I have. I live in constant fear that one day, someone might find out, and the whole world would shun me. I am working on it, on this bizarre self-cannibalism I am so obsessed with, and I hope that one day I might just be able to kick this habit and live life like a normal human being.
Disclaimer: This article was exclusively submitted anonymously to FreshGrads and has been edited by the team. The author has requested to remain anonymous and any comments suggesting her identity would be deleted for obvious reasons.