Category: Weird Articles
Published on Thursday, 02 March 2017 00:00
Written by Cheryl Teo Kai Lin
We ladies hate dealing with the sticky, gooey and bloody mess whenever the time of the month comes. With that knowledge in mind, a male doctor conceived a product that seals the labia shut, entrapping all the blood within, it is only released when ladies visit the toilet.
Dr. Dan Dopps, a Kansas chiropractor, and not a gynecologist, invented the “Femine Hygiene Lip-Stick” that seals up a woman’s vagina during her menstrual cycle, allowing her to flush out the menstrual blood through urinating.
Dr. Dopps is also the founder of Mensez Techologies
, which developed and patented the unorthodox product.
The product is shaped and designed like a lipstick with a colorless stick within the black packaging. Instead of applying it to your lips like you would a normal lipstick, users are meant to smear it all over the vagina lips, a.k.a the labia. It acts as an adhesive that seals the labia shut, keeping all the blood stored up inside.
The glue is washed away naturally when the woman urinates and wets the area, which will result in what I would assume to be a tidal wave of blood. After the blood is released, the user can reapply the Mensez lipstick and go about her daily activities again until the need for urinating arises.
My concern is that it can’t possibly to healthy for the uterus to store that much blood that it is trying to expel. Blood that is retained in the uterus can form blood clots. Or worse, all that built up bacteria can lead to Toxic Shock Syndrome where in some serious cases, will have to result in the amputation of limbs.
Furthermore, I would imagine that it will be a little bit messy to apply the “lipstick” during a heavy flow, where in the process of trying to glue the labia shut, blood will drip all over the applicator. The amount of germs and bacteria that accumulates on the applicator over time can cause a vaginal infection too.
“Have you ever woke up with your lips stick together? It didn’t hurt and it was kind of fun. All you had to do was to wet your lips from the inside with saliva and they became unstuck. That is the principal behind Mensez and a revolutionary safer solution for women to control their periods without the need for tampons, pads, vag cups, or period panties. Mensez is a natural combination of amino acids and oil in a lipstick applicator that is applied to the lips downunder during the period. It causes them to stick together, strong enough to prevent leakage, that is until the user urinates. The urine instantly unsticls the labia and sllows everything to wash out into the toilet, wipe and reapply Mensez lipstick. Clean, Safe, Secure and Done. Coming to a store near you soon,” the Mensez Facebook post read.
Many are bashing the very idea of the product while others are questioning how effective it is.
“And what about when with bladder control issues- if just a little urine gets on this stuff it just melts away right? Not looking forward to that scenario...” Kelly Murray Wilder wrote.
“Oh my god. What a fucktard,” Julie West simply wrote.
“Hey, maybe I'm only thinking with 3/4ths of my brain, but what if we glue a mans penis shut before sex there by eliminating an unwanted pregnancy. No more need for female birth control. No marches for abortion rights. No messy wet spot to sleep in. Wow! I think we may be on to something!” Teri Peck’s sarcastic comment made us laughed out loud.
“Hahahahahahahahahaha. This is without a doubt the worst case of mansplaining I ever came across. There's not enough words in the dictionairy to convey all the things that are wrong with this 'idea'. In any language or all languages combined for that matter,” said Nienke Thurlings. “This is from another planet entirely. Not only will it not work for obvious reasons. It is also very very very mysogenistic to treat Women's bodies and our natural cycles this way.”
All the ridicule about the product provoked Dr. Dopps who hit back with an extremely misogynistic comment that probably will not help with the sales of his product.
“Yes, I am a man and you as a woman, should have come up with a better solution then diapers and plugs, but you didn’t,” he scathingly wrote. “Reason being women are focused on and distracted by your period 25% of the time, making them far less productive then they could be.”
We wonder where he got those statistics from.
“Women tend to be far more creative than men, but their periods that stifle them and play with their heads. Do you realize that most skin care products and makeup were developed by men?” He continued on digging his own grave. “You said that Mensez sounds incredibly awful, it is not. Even though women are secretive and try to hide the fact periods CAN be gross, crusty, smelly, and incredibly awful. The period its self is none of that but rather the Diapers that women are forced to accept are gross and in creditably awful, no matter what color they make them or the cute names they give them, they are still diapers, and women have been duped into thinking that they are the wonderful. NOT True.”
He goes on to further assault our eyes and brains with his atrocious English, “With Mensez seals in the blood and fluids, they are sterile as long as they are inside the body and all the grossness is from the leakage into undergarments, the drying effects of air and the bacteria contamination that comes along with inserting tampon plugs and pads. I realize that Mensez is very different and may take time for some women to work through the idea.”
“My dream is to have women free of the distractions, the psychological issues that goes along with their periods, and see what they develop,” Dr. Dopps very heroically concluded.
We are genuinely questioning this doctor’s creditability. Won’t a real doctor who graduated from a prestigious institution be able to at least construct a proper sentence in English? Aside from women who suffer from acute stomach cramps, menses do not take up what he assumes is 25% of our time. It is just as much as a hassle as wiping your ass after a shit. The depth of his stupidity is so great that some are speculating that this is just a complex prank, but the US patent filed in 2011 proves otherwise.